Archives for category: Generation Two

Saffron soon fitted back into the Ruffleheart family life. She managed to wrangle herself a job in the military.

Screenshot-6683She trained hard too – I could tell that boarding school had left her disciplined.

Screenshot-6584Meanwhile, with just three weeks to go before the wedding, Madeline had some very exciting news, especially for Darwin.
“We’re expecting a baby!” she told him.
“NO WAY! YES! Ohmygosh, yay!” he responded, shaking with excitement.

Screenshot-6593We were sat around the dinner table on evening, over an especially tasty serving of veggie rolls, when Darwin explained:
“What with the pregnancy and such, we decided to postpone the wedding until the baby’s been born.”

Screenshot-6580With the wedding off (for the time being), I could concentrate on my career. In fact, I completed my lifetime wish! That didn’t mean I wasn’t at risk of the dangers however, as I frighteningly reminded of one evening, while inventing.

Screenshot-6600Much to my luck, Aphrodite heard my yelps of terror and sped in, a fire extinguisher in hand.
“Keep calm and still Dad, I’ll sort it out.” And with that, she saved my life.

Screenshot-6613Despite my accident, I managed to get a hero medal for being such a great artist; hey, we were all thinking it, weren’t we?

Screenshot-6628The months whizzed by and Darwin was soon woken by Madeline in labour. He panicked like crazy, but one can understand – it was his first baby, after all.

Screenshot-6649A contrast to his earlier anxiety, Darwin soon calmed down and struggled to stay awake!

Screenshot-6654It was a little boy! My first little grandchild. I also realized that the first child born into every generation of our family was a boy; Dad, of course, then me, then (depending on who you count) either Preston Ira or Blaine. And now, little Charlie! Yep, Darwin decided to call his son Charlie (officially Charles).

Screenshot-6656They made fantastic parents; I never really doubted that they would. Darwey did his fair share of night-feeds too!

Screenshot-6663Having two blonde parents, it had always been likely that Charlie would have blonde hair too and it suited him. He really was a sweetie.

Screenshot-6674I remember that as soon as Blaine was born, Dad had aged into an elder and sadly it wasn’t much different for me. I knew I was reaching my birthday, so Bear and I had a joint party! In a bizarre twist, we wore matching outfits reminiscent of clothes we wore as toddlers (see HERE). We looked silly, but we thought it was pretty funny.

Screenshot-6695Pearl looked absolutely stunning. I was scared that she would leave me as soon as I turned old, but she repeatedly reassured me she wasn’t that shallow.

Screenshot-6707As children, Bear had always moaned about how I got to blow out the candles and age up before him, as I was the eldest. I certainly wasn’t in any rush to grow old though, so for once he got to go first!

Screenshot-6719Bear thought he still looked hot and I think that’s all that matters! He didn’t look too bad though.

Screenshot-6751Me? OLD. But…not too bad? Let’s be honest, I still had it!

Screenshot-6750Seeing my hair turn grey reminded me I had an important decision to make; who would be the heir? Darwin had his life planned out in front of him, he was a hard worker, he had a stable job, a fiancee and a son. Aphrodite on the other hand…well, she was an impulsive diva, who had no idea what she wanted to do, where she wanted to go, who she wanted to spend her life with. Yet the control and initiative she’d displayed when she put out the fire assured me she would be a good choice.

HeirI sat them down in the living room. “You know I love you both equally,” I began, glancing at both of my children’s expectant faces. “but the choice I had to make was, who would be the best heir and would carry on the family line. It wasn’t an easy decision, but…Aphie, it’s you.”
“Awesome! Thank you Daddy; I’m so touched!” she gasped, holding her heart beneath her jumper. It took me a moment to notice Darwin huffing next to me.
“What the hell Dad? I’m obviously the better choice! I do all the housework around here, I’ve got an adorable little son who could be the start of generation four, I have a stable job and relationship, I’m older, more mature and if it weren’t for me, you probably still wouldn’t be talking to Aphrodite! I mean, I’m happy for her, but…it just doesn’t make sense.”
“I’m sorry Darwin, but this just proves what a better heir she’d be. Like I said, I love you both the same, but Aphro – the job is yours.”

Screenshot-7308(Note from the author: Hey guys! The voting is now closed for the heir poll (obviously) and the spin-off university poll. The results for the heir poll was 19 to 11 votes to Aphrodite and the spin-off one was 7 to 3 for going to uni. So, Aphrodite’s going to university! While it is a spin-off, I’d highly recommend reading it, as important things may happen in it that relate to the storyline of the main legacy. I also got a few interesting suggestions for storylines in the poll, one or two I’d already had planned, so…let’s wait and see!)


I was sculpting in my underwear one morning, as you do, when I realized I was getting a little too hairy again. I decided another waxing was in order.

Screenshot-6303However, outside the spa, I spotted Pearl in her work clothes as a scientist.
“Hey, I realized I never properly thanked you for my little tour!” I exclaimed
“Oh, it’s fine. I enjoyed it!”
“Me too, me too. But…well…I still feel the need to make it up to you. May I take you to dinner?”
“Yeah. I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.”

Screenshot-6304My lobster really was quite delicious and I think Pearl enjoyed herself too – until I was too blunt.
“Pearl…why don’t you take your glasses off?” She looked a little taken aback and swallowed her risotto slowly. as if planning her words carefully.
“I…I guess…I’m a private person. I like to…I dunno, hide myself from other people’s scrutiny. And you…you just came out of nowhere. Popped up into my life and I let you in, like I’d never let anyone in before. This is all so new and strange to me, but you…put me at ease. And I like that.” We smiled at each other. I’d have liked the date to last longer, yet the next day was Darwin and Madeline’s  transitions into young adulthood.

Screenshot-6308For their birthday, Darwin and Madeline decided to throw a costume party. I was a surgeon…

Screenshot-6316Aphrodite was a cowgirl…

Screenshot-6315And the happy couple were a jock and a cheerleader. I couldn’t help feeling a great sense of pride for my mini-me and his soulmate.

Screenshot-6325There were many other amusing costumes. A personal highlight was chef Rain and hotdog Rory!

Screenshot-6311There was not much time to admire costumes however, as it was time to blow out the candles.

Screenshot-6339Meanwhile, I’d spotted a particularly pretty pilot.
“Hey, you’re hotter than a jet engine set to full power!” I joked, a flirty edge to my voice.
“Well, doctor, I think I need heart transplant because mine just burst!” she retaliated, a cheeky smirk on her face.

Screenshot-6349Who says pick up lines don’t work?

Screenshot-6355That night she stayed. The best part for me? She finally took her sunglasses off and I could look into her dazzling eyes.

Screenshot-6360We can’t forget Darwin though! He too had a wonderful night with the woman he loved. They embraced upon the balcony, the excitement for their future together palpable.

Screenshot-6357Naturally, she agreed when he proposed to her.

Screenshot-6364Darwin took up a career in music, while Madeline opted for business. Of course, she still played to double bass and they formed a band, Love in 2D, with a promise to Aphrodite she could join when she became a young adult.

Screenshot-6422Time soon flew past. I finally completed the painting skill.

Screenshot-6426Just a few months later and it was my baby’s bachelor party. I could not get my head around it. Aphie and Madeline got out of the house and stayed at the relaxation station.

Screenshot-6440While they relaxed (HA! Who’d wanna do that?), we PARTIED!

Screenshot-6451Robert, my nephew, called in some party dancers, who were great; mind you, neither of them were as gorgeous as my Pearl.

Screenshot-6429As the very late night turned into the very early morning, we turned more and more mischievous. Rory stripped off and skinny dipped in the pool.

Screenshot-6457Robert soon joined.

Screenshot-6460And, after a bit of encouragement, Darwin and I jumped in too. I blame it on the juice and fizzy nectar!

Screenshot-6461Nobody noticed the woman walk into the garden.
“Ew, ohmygosh, what the heck have I just walked in on?” she exclaimed, looking horrified.

Screenshot-6467I scrambled out of the pool and back into my clothes.
“Who are you?” I inquired, with a small hint of recognition at her face.
“You haven’t forgotten me already, have you big bro?” she chuckled.
“Yup! I’m finally out of school and got the first plane ticket over here. I can stay, right?”
“Sure! For as long as you want.”

Screenshot-6471It had been an exhaustingly long night. At 7am, I finally passed out on the sofa; Darwin wasn’t so picky about his location.

(Note from the author: Hey guys! Sorry the update took so long, I was creating my Valentine’s gift exchange present. Don’t forget to vote for the heir HERE!)

After a speedy labor of two hours, Aphrodite joined our family. I could see her beauty, but refused to study her face all the same – I knew if I looked too hard, I’d see aspects of myself in her and that would prevent me from sticking to my guns.

Ruby slept in our bed alone, with Aphrodite in her crib next to it.

I, meanwhile, slept in Bear’s old room.

In case you were wondering, Saff had taken Rain’s room.

One morning, as I walked past Darwin’s bedroom, I saw him playing with Aphrodite. It was…beautiful. They laughed together like best friends.

I confronted him.
“Darwey, why were you playing with your sister?”
“Aphro’s really fun! She’s pretty and cute and I like her.”
“But…but your mum betrayed us. She didn’t think you were enough!”
“You’re being a silly billy. Of course Mummy loves me and she loves you too.” I sighed, rubbing my forehead. I’d been an idiot.

I picked her up, staring into her eyes – her light caramel eyes that belonged to my biological mother, Gala. The rest of her features, apart from my my deep chocolate hair, seemed to have come from her mother. Reluctantly, I outstretched my free hand, giving her tummy a tickle. A giggle erupted form her mouth and a bubble of affection popped in my heart. I couldn’t believe I’d been missing out on this.

Ruby wasn’t understanding. I couldn’t blame her for being angry with me.
“You treated me like dirt! I didn’t do anything wrong! Yet now you come swanning in, cuddling Aphrodite like nothing ever happened, but it did; you don’t deserve her love. With you it’s all ‘me me me’, isn’t it Joshua?”

“I’m so sorry. I know I’ve behaved horribly, but please forgive me.”
“I don’t know if I can. But for the kids’ sake, I will stay with you and perhaps – PERHAPS – one day I can get over this.”

That night, it was still Ruby that put my daughter to bed and still Bear’s bed that I rested in, yet I sensed things might improve in time.

Dad was still enjoying being an elderly father. He’d read Saffron a story every night before she went to sleep, delighting her with tall tales.

He was eating out at the diner one afternoon when…when it happened.

He died quickly and, I hope, painlessly.

According to onlookers, he begged the Grim Reaper for his life, crying for Saffron. But it was his time to go.

It hit us all hard. Mum was forever wiping away silent tears.

It was perhaps the worst for Saff. She’d cry all the time, in the bath, at school but especially before bed.

She couldn’t sleep without Dad reading her a story. In the end, she settled down with Mum, on Dad’s side of the bed.

They say that a crisis bring people together and it certainly seemed to do that for me and Ruby. It made us realize how precious life was and she swiftly forgave me. That night I slept back in my bed, my arms around my girlfriend. He wasn’t even her father in law, as we weren’t married, yet I knew she missed him too.

A couple of days later, we held a funeral at our house. Dad’s urn was displayed beneath the digital frame holding his own photos.

I invited Gala, my biological mother, as she had of course been married to Dad for a few years. I hadn’t seen her since I was about 10 and she didn’t turn up to his funeral. I was disappointed yet relived at the same time. All of my siblings turned up however. Mum sought comfort in the arms of Florence.

Darwin found the whole occasion quite harrowing.

Mum performed a very rousing piece on her piano, hiding her tears from her audience of family members.

As the sun set, a video was played to the guests in the family room, remembering Dad.

I pulled Ruby to one side as the video came to a close.
“Ruby. I know my timing is wa-a-a-ay off, but losing Dad has shown me how important family is in life. So please, be my wife.”
“Oh Joshua. Despite everything, I adore you. So yes!”

That night we wedded, after Ruby changed into her late mother’s wedding gown that had been lying in a drawer for 40 years. The stars were our only witness as we committed to each other for eternity.

After all the guests had gone, it was bedtime for Darwin. He was a bit scared to sleep in his new bed and swore blind there were monsters under there.

I comforted him and he eventually settled down. Despite his terrors, Darwin was still an absolute delight. He was constantly laughing and joking around, or rocking on his rocking horse.

Elsewhere in the family, however, things weren’t so rosy. Ruby had the hump with me and Mum & Dad were also grumpy because ‘I was being ridiculous’. Pah. Anyhow, I decided to try and patch things up a little by treating everyone to a family vacation!

We all went to a little log cabin in the woods just a few miles from our house (The Ruffleheart House can downloaded HERE).

We all piled into it, Ruby’s baby bump growing day by day.

Things were still very awkward between us. I simply couldn’t get over the fact she’d deceived Darwin and I like that, getting herself pregnant.

Darwin adored the cabin, and was acting as cute as ever, sussing out the toys.

The only real entertainment, other than the various books and children’s toys, was the timeworn record player and a limited collection of country songs. Still, we didn’t let that get in the way of our fun!

Mum even cooked us some homemade fish and chips as a vacation treat for us. The awkwardness had thawed, but only minutely. Darwin, as neutral land between the rift, chatted enough for the five of us.

The next day, Saffron grew into a child.

Mum and Dad decided to take Saff and Darwin on a walk through the woods. I think it was intended to force Ruby and I to make up.

Things didn’t go to plan, however; Ruby (wearing a very, very strange outfit) suddenly grabbed onto her belly.
“Oh God, Joshua, the baby’s coming!”
“No!” I tell you, I was terrified. “This cannot be happening!”
“Well it -ARRRRRG- is, so you’d better get over yourself and help me out!”
(Author’s note: Sorry this update is so short! To make up for it, there should be another update within the week ^_^)

Darwin was simply wonderful. I hardly let him out of my sight for a moment (although he did seem to have my nose…)!

He even got on with his little Auntie Saffron. They’d play in quiet companionship for hours on end – although I could rarely wait that long before scooping my Mini-Me into a cuddle.

His favourite place was the kids’ playground, where I’d often take him.

Hours of fun ensued. I loved nothing more than going out, just me and my son. My adoration for him was so great, a few seconds apart from him left me devastated and unsure what to with myself, so I tried to spend every second with Darwin in my arms.

I wasn’t really keeping up with my sculpting, inventing or painting because of my devotion to Darwin, Dad had retired and mum had quit her job upon finding out about her pregnancy. Therefore, with the only money coming in being a pension, Ruby applied for a job at the Army Base. Luckily, she got it.

 In-between work shifts, Ruby made sure she spent plenty of time with Darwin…

…and me! Well, gotta keep the relationship fresh, eh?

Eventually, I went back to sculpting, although the only thing I sculpted was a high chair. I wanted my son to have anything and everything.

When Darwin was about three, I took him to the salon with me.

I’d finally decided to have my love for him permanently tattooed onto my skin. I winced as the tattoo artist approached me, but I knew the end result would be worth it.

In the end, I had a blue star under my wings. I loved it, as did Darwin. I called him my little shooting star, which always made him giggle in delight.

Soon it was time for a bittersweet occasion – Darwin’s birthday and his transition into childhood. I was excited to see my young man growing older, but also sad to see him gain more independence and spend less time with his old dad. We threw a party for him; it was good fun, although Mum seemed to think it was rubbish! You may spot a few familiar faces looking older.

Preston Ira had grown up a lot! His parents were now young adults and he was a (very punky) teen.

Blaine was a cute child, with his hair still as long as ever.

Robert was also very cute, although his ginger hair was a mystery.

Rory had grown into a young adult and looked exactly the same as before.

He’d also found himself some love! He seemed to have fallen for Hannah’s simself & Hayley’s simself’s eldest son, Jacob. (Author’s note: EA’s Story Progression actually did something good for once! Couldn’t believe it when I saw this.)

As Mum was due to grow into an elder, we turned it into a double party. She went first.

“Hey, not that bad, right?” she inquired as her brown hair turned grey and wrinkles formed on her face. I thought she was still beautiful, as did Dad.

Even when pulling a derp face, Darwin was adorable! And my nose seemed more prominent on him than ever…

My son was even more of a mini-me after becoming a child. He, like me, had a designer t-shirt, jeans and red shoes. If his hair was a deep brown like mine, he’d be me.

As the guests helped themselves to cake, Ruby pulled me to one side.
“Joshy, I have some really exciting news – I’m pregnant again!”

“I know, it’s another shock, but I can’t wait. Darwin will finally have a little brother or sister.”
“Are you CRAZY?! No…no, no, no. Why did you DO this?”

“Joshua, please, you’re making a scene! I don’t understand what the problem is – it was much more unexpected with Darwin, yet you were over the moon about that pregnancy.”
“The problem is the fact that you felt the need to get yourself knocked up when we already have Darwin. He’s perfect, I love him. Don’t you?! I could never love anyone or anything as much as my Darwey. I’m disgusted.”
“Joshy, please, I-”
“Just get out of my face.”

How could she do that to Darwin and I?! Stupid Ruby. Well that child could be hers, all I wanted was Darwin. I could still trust him.

Ruby seemed to have had a comfortable night and was certainly making herself at home, reading Rain’s book collection and playing on her laptop. Ever gentlemanly, I went to ask her if she wanted any breakfast, but…I guess she couldn’t resist my charms!

In no time, we were kissing.

And in no time after that, we were…well…

Soon, we were dating and completely inseparable. Mind you, I certainly wasn’t expecting the news she gave me after just 6 months of dating.
“Joshy, I’m…I’m pregnant.” I stared at her in awe.
“P-pregnant? PREGNANT?!”
“Please don’t be upset!” she begged me.
“Of course I’m not upset – I’m ecstatic! I can’t wait to be a daddy.”
“Really!” And with that, we had the sweetest kiss I’d ever experienced.

Meanwhile, the romance was still alive between Mum and Dad. You’d often find them cuddled up together, although the fact Mum didn’t age left them looking like a pretty unlikely couple.

Mum was sick of it. She’d never wanted to be a vampire in the first place and she longed to be one of those cute old couples you see in the park holding hands. But at this rate, Dad wasn’t gonna be around much longer and Mum would be left, alone and unhappy. One day, Dad caught her clutching a peculiar red bottle.
“What’s that sweetie?” he asked, his worn eyes blinking at the glass container.
“I purchased it from the science facility. It’s a vampirism cure.”
“Are you KIDDING me?! It’s too dangerous! You know that thing could kill you.”
“It’s worth it to grow old with you.” And before Dad could convince her otherwise, she downed the potion.

She was normal! Mum was no longer a vampire, she’ d become human again. She instantly aged into an adult.

“I forgot how stunning you were with a bit of colour in your face. I love you.”

Their relationship was better than ever. They even formed their own band, “Together ‘Til The End of Time”!

It wasn’t long before Mum was pregnant too! It was a shock, but I couldn’t have been happier for Dad and her.

I was taking good care of Ruby. I’d been cooking for her, and keeping her spirits high. I mainly stayed with her in her pokey bungalow, because she didn’t like ‘charity’ (c’mon, is moving in with your boyfriend in his nice, big house when you’re pregnant REALLY charity?). I was SO excited at the prospect of having a possible heir on the way, I threw a little baby shower at Ruby’s house. She looked beautiful with her big bump.

And BOY could she dance, despite being 9 months pregnant! We put Mum and Dad to shame with our awesome moves.

Our little baby was certainly spoiled! Mum and Dad bought the pram and giraffe, while the rest were from friends.

That night, we cuddled up together in bed…

…until we were rudely interrupted! Ruby went into labor.

I drove her to the hospital and when we left, we had another member of the family! Meet Darwin, my little boy.

He looked just like the pictures of me I’d seen of myself when I was a baby (comparison here). He had my eyes and cute smile, with his mother’s blonde hair and I can only hope he has her nose and not mine.

We rotated between staying at Ruby’s…

…and in his nursery in my house, which used to be Rory’s room.

Darwin’s room was simple but cute, filled with his baby shower gifts.

As well as some toys for when he’s a little older.

Ruby was a wonderful mother and adored Darwin. Mind you, who could resist his adorable baby charms?

While we were strolling one evening, I asked the question I’ve been asking everyday since I’d found out Ruby was pregnant.
“Ruby, please will you move in with me?” It was responded to with  the usual sigh/roll of eyes. Yet still, she replied:
“Okay…I guess it would be kinda awesome. Plus, less confusing for Darwin.” Thus, a new member joined our family!

Talking of new member joining our family, Mum finally went into labor, much to Dad’s apparent amusement.

Saffron was absolutely the apple of her father’s eye. She inherited his striking red hair and contagious grin. Dad didn’t admit it, but inside I knew she was absolutely his favorite child – she looked like him, never left his side for more than five minutes and her biological mother was the love of his life. Mind you, I had identical feelings for Darwin…

Remember Florence’s boyfriend Kurt? He’d been her prom date and, since then, they’d had a budding little romance. He was often round, so I didn’t bat an eyelid when Florence invited him over. Until…
“Kurt, it’s over. I’m sorry. But the spark just isn’t there anymore.” I guess she’d taken a leaf out of the Joshua book of dating.

Luckily, Rain was on hand to comfort Kurt.

Yeah, perhaps she comforted a little too much…soon her and Kurt were dating themselves!

One of the guys Florence met in China, Liu, visited Twinbrook. He’d beaten her in a duel back in China and she couldn’t resist the lure of a rematch. After her hard work training, she won..

…and gave Liu a back massage to avoid any injuries.

As well as a lip massage! Just a couple of weeks after splitting up from a long-term relationship, Florence was in a long-distance one.

They had a whirlwind romance and, during his next visit, Liu and Florence married (between you and me, I think this was mainly because she was pregnant, but make sure Dad doesn’t find out!). They moved to a Chinese-inspired home on the edge of the town.

With the awkwardness of her sister gone, Rain moved Kurt in. He was a brilliant addition to our family; we’d been good friends at school and even better friends as sorta in-laws. Besides, I’d never seen Rain so happy!

Soon, she was pregnant too. Jeez, was there something in the water?! Her and Kurt bought their own home to bring a baby up in.

The house was starting to feel very empty – I only had two siblings left in it, as well as Mum and Dad. Then, one afternoon, Bear approached me.
“Joshua, I love you, the home and my life here. But seeing our little sisters move out has prompted me to move on – I can’t stay at home forever.” I took a deep breath, taking in the news I wasn’t gonna see my twin everyday.
“I want to leave too. No offence of course Joshua, but I’m ready to move on.” Now THAT shocked me! Little Rory, leaving home?
“That’s…fine I guess. But I’m not gonna be the one to break the news to Mum and Dad!”

Baby Blaine, son of Florence and Liu, was born a healthy weight – and with a healthy head of hair!! I went to visit him with my parents.

Being a grandfather appeared to have aged Dad overnight! Time had lightened his red hair to pink and he face was full of wrinkles – but he was happy nonetheless.

Blaine’s cousin, Robert, was born four months later.

Adorable much? But, speaking of adorable, we haven’t heard enough about me! Love was in the air everywhere expect around me – until one day, at the local gallery. I got chatting to Ruby McClendon, a repair technician who lived in the centre of town.

She was so beautiful, it made my heart swell. And no hook-nose genes! Woo!

I invited her back to mine…we flirted a bit…and she agreed to stay the night!

Being the dashing gentleman I was, I showed Ruby to the guest room, where she slept. I didn’t want to seem too forward or desperate, after all.

(Note from the author: Hi people!! Sorry it’s been 23 days since the last update – I’ve been so busy going back to school and I now have a wonderful boyfriend, so my time is pretty much taken up by them 🙂 But ideally, I’ll update about once a week. Hope you enjoyed this installment of The Ruffleheart Legacy!!)

Hey there! I’m Joshua. I guess my Dad’s probably told you about me. I’m 21 and the Ruffleheart heir. Heh. Figures – I am the best looking one after all.

The first thing I knew I had to do as heir was to do was to rebuild the house – no offence, I know that Dad worked hard to build it…but it was hideously shapeless; I felt my creativity being repressed every time I went home. We stayed with Lilo, Ira & Preston Ira during the move. It was a lot of people in one house, but it was pretty big; Ira’s late foster mother had been one wealthy woman. The new house zapped all of our money, but it was surprising how much savings we had, and the price we got for selling our old stuff. Okay. The setting was still muddy and ugly, but I was over the moon with the new house. It looked like a family home…for the family I was excited to hopefully have soon!

The ground floor…

The first floor…

The gardening patch…

The deck…

The outdoor play area…

The garage…

The foyer (with digital photo frame)…

The utility room…

The guest room…

The downstairs bathroom…

The living room…

The kitchen…

The entertainment/dining room…

The first floor landing…

The main bathroom…

The shower room…

The second upstairs bathroom…

The study…

Bear’s bedroom…

Rory’s bedroom…

Florence and Rain’s bedroom…

Mum and Dad’s bedroom…

The master bedroom (mine!)…

And my en suite.

Rory’s bedroom was adorable, but in no time he was growing into a teen. It was an emotional time for us all. Mind you, he hardly changed. He didn’t even want he bedroom less-babyfied!

Now, he was relieved to at last be able to cook properly. His first meal was…well, amateur,but we didn’t tell him that. It was probably about as good as my first proper painting and we all know I’m now an artistic genius.

Being a young adult wasn’t all good; I was hairy. And I mean HAIRY. Seriously, I looked like a werewolf. This is Twinbrook, not Moonlight Falls, right?

Bear did this the other day…no idea why. Literally. Scared the heck out of me. I mean, c’mon dude…we have neighbors. Anyway, I saw he was insanely hairy too. So we decided to go get waxed at the day spa.

I just knew once that horrible body hair was gone, my body would look as beautiful as Michelangelo’s David.

I went in hairy and came out…covered in tattoos. Okay, my new look was pretty weird and crazy, but I loved it. My body was a canvas and I was born to paint. (To see more pictures of my awesome tattoos, click HERE, HERE & HERE.)

Oh, I expect you wanna know how things are going with Aurora and me (you know – bunny suit girl!). She was now 23 and had grown out of her bunny suit. I was searching for a chance to show off my amazing new tattoos and decided to invite her out to the local swimming pool.

She looked gorgeous. I couldn’t resist her. We were both young adults, after all. We had…a lot of fun.

The next evening we went out for dinner. She was wearing a beautiful dress. My falafel was delicious. So what was wrong? We just…didn’t hit it off quite the same. We realized we actually had nothing in common.

So I dumped her. Compulsive after 8 years together, I know, but I knew she wasn’t right for me. Besides, her nose was even bigger than mine – our kids would be doomed!

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